… but hopefully this will reach out to people who find themselves in a similar mental situation
Reasons to live:
- I know for sure that God put me on this planet for a reason, and that he has a plan for me.
- There is always a tomorrow. I just have to look for the light switch.
- I feel like I’ve been making too much progress to give it all up now
- I have to set an example for my sister, and I want to see her succeed in life
- Over the past couple of months I have learned that there are actually people out there who care
- Funerals are very expensive, and I don’t want to be an economical burden for my family
- It would be unfair to the people who are really suffering and would do anything to switch lives with me
- I’m so lucky to have the best friends ever, and their support has been overwhelming, really
- I want to see everyone I miss again.
- All this regardless, I still feel worthless, and I still feel like I’m bothering everyone
- I’m still weak and I still want to harm myself, something I’m really ashamed of (but I haven’t, not in 4 months! :D)
- No matter what anyone says I will always feel like I’m not good enough.
- I doubt I’ll ever find someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with me because I’m too fat, ugly and weird. (note: I’m not writing this to make myself look like an attention whore, this is how I honestly view myself)
- I feel misunderstood.
- Most of the time I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, what’s really bothering me and why I’m sad, and I’m sick of that. It makes me feel claustrophobic, and I just want to get out.
But, you know, let the bright side overcome the darkness! Even though I’m not 100% okay yet, I’m not where I used to be, and while writing this I realized once again that I have more reasons to live than I have to get carried away in a coffin.