… and boy was it awkward! haha

So, my friend Linda and I have been members for almost a year now, and during that year we’ve finished a semester at institute, so today they handed out diplomas, and those who received one were expected to bear their testimony about what we’ve been going through in class as well as the gospel. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS … Linda and I haven’t really attended institute that much … We always have dinner in church before the class, so we always go to the  dinner and stay and either chat with the missionaries or go home.  So this made us feel a little like we didn’t really deserve it … And they made the whole handing out diplomas-thing a little too formal for my taste, so we had to walk up to the branch president when they called out our name, and after passing out the sacrament we had to bear our testimonies, like I said before …. Linda’s testimony was probably the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time, and filled the chapel with laughter and facepalms, haha … Even the branch presidency just sat up there like “oh. my goodness. what is this.”  

and THEN it was time to bear mine … I had absolutely no idea what to say or do and was super nervous, so Sister T (because of course we’re sitting with the missionaries, right? haha the only people that are close to our age) just bend over and rambled some scripturething in my ear, because apparently we had to mention our favorite scripture in the old testament, and eh … honestly … I haven’t read it yet and I haven’t been paying much attention in the few classes I’ve actually attended. So she was just like; “ok, proverbs 3, 5-6, talks about how you can always count on the Lord and have to trust him, and he will give you the guidance you need in life”  and then she quickly tore out a bit of a page in her missionary day planner-thing (you know, that white little book they always carry around) and wrote it down as my turn was coming up. <3 Sister T <3

And then … You know when you’re about to give a presentation or speak in front of a large audience and you’re sitting in the back row and it feels like you’re walking the green mile because everyone’s eyes are just glued to you? Yeah … 

I was pretty nervous, and Linda’s testimony was still cracking me up, so I just stood there like “uhm …. BUAHAHAHHHHAHAH sorry” and when I finally came to my senses, I was just racing through the whole thing so it turned out really short, even though it felt like I’d been standing up there forever. I don’t really remember exactly what I said, but I mentioned something about how I was feeling guilty because I hadn’t been able to attend institute as often as I should have, that my one year mark as a member was coming up and that the church means a lot to me. I also read out Sister T’s note out loud … Haha but I tend to speak with my arms and said some rather odd things now and then so I saw some giggly faces out there … haha but it was funny. 

When I dragged myself down to my bench again, Elder S turned to me and showed me his phone. Apparently that little sneak had recorded it all, and it wasn’t even longer than a minute! haha I have NO idea what he’s gonna do with it, but apparently he’d sent some texts around to some other missionaries, like Elder A who insists that Linda and I bear our testimony on the first of September … Hahah oh missionaries, they’re so weird, I love them. 

After the meeting was over, a lot of people walked up to us and claimed that we did a good job, one man even said that we were the highlights of the whole meeting! Apparently we didn’t exactly bore them to death, and we did it more “human” and not like one of those Peter Priesthood braggers, which was nice to hear, lol

Today it’s exactly one year since we first met with the missionaries, and it’s very bittersweet. I really miss that time and not to mention THEM. It’s kind of sad how time just flies by … But you know, this has been an amazing year for me, even though it sucks knowing that two of the best elders ever - my fist missionaries - are on the other side of the world and I have to wait a whole year to see them again! I mean, one of them is even married! I just really hope they have time to say hi to me when I go to Utah next summer. I know I sound obsessive, and I’m really not, I just miss them. BAH. 

365 days. That’s insane! 

Today, after signing some job papers, I decided to go to church to look for my iPod that I thought I had lost. After walking around for a couple of minutes, opening drawers and lifting pillows, I sat down in the hallway and waited for a while, since I’d rather wait there than on the bus stop. When I was about to leave, I saw an older woman standing outside. Turns out that she was too scared to go inside after her last visit, when the church’s cat guy who spends most of his days in the attic denied her access because the church was - and I quote - “for members only”.  Me, being the good hearted girl I am, told her not to worry about him and let her in. Apparently she was there for the last meeting with the sister missionaries before her baptism on sunday, and seriously, I had never seen that woman before … I’ve heard them mention an older investigator, but I thought she was just looking for something to fill her retired life with, without being too serious about it …

Anyway, the sisters weren’t there yet, and I could see that she wasn’t too comfortable with the thought of being left alone with the attic cat guy who could kick her out any second, so instead of catching my bus I decided to stay and wait with her, since I’m such a nice person and all, haha … I told her that I was very excited for her and the choice she had made and how many blessings it has given me in my life, which led to a very interesting conversation about the church, as well as the teachings and values of the gospel. Some things she said really got to me, like; “I’ve been to many churches and experienced a lot of different religious communities, but this church confirms everything I’ve always believed in. It makes perfect sense to me. This is the one church I really feel like I can go to.” 

Hearing that from her kind of gave me a little flashback to what I felt the last days before my own baptism, about the church being “the one” and stuff, and kind of made me want to go out there and introduce others to it as well, people who might need it and are just waiting for someone to walk up to them with a reason to keep trying, answers to their billion questions and something to hold on to. The woman insisted that she didn’t need it to “heal her”, unlike me, because she wasn’t emotionally torn apart, but that she just knew that “THIS is how I want to live my life.”  and it made me realize that some day, I want to be that person who walks up to someone who’ve waited for you their entire life and watch them change their life to the better. 

If that makes sense?! Oh well, it kind of does in my head, so … 

Today, May 5th, it’s exactly a year since I ran into the missionaries downtown for the billionth time and actually decided to give them my real name and number and listened to what they had to say. It might sound cheesy to you, but to me this marks the beginning of a brighter future. Yes - I’ve still been struggling with some personal issues, but having the church in my life has made it a lot easier to deal with the things I never thought I’d make it through. I don’t regret starting as an investigator and getting baptized for a second. Cappuccino sure tastes good, but I wouldn’t trade my faith for anything! I’m really happy with the choice I made! THIS is how I want to live my life. 

this might seem creepy, cheesy and weird for non-religious people out there, just sayin. 

So I’ve been struggling with some personal issues lately, and without doing anything wrong and still following the commandments, I’ve had problems feeling the spirit. I’ve prayed and read my favorite scriptures, but I have still felt empty, frustrated and depressed. Usually the gospel and all that “spiritual stuff” helps me lift the weight that I always carry around off my shoulders for a while, but the past couple of days nothing has helped, like nothing at all. I don’t even know why, which is something that really frustrates me because I know that the church is true and that I’m trying my best to be a good member and person. 

Anyways, while sitting in church today I decided to text one of the missionaries and ask him for advice, and if it meant that I was doing something wrong. He’s a really good person to talk to - he knows about every single one of my “inner demons” to use such a fancy way to put it, and every stupid little thing that I do, but he never judges me, he always has something to say and he’s just a really good person to talk to. (and since he got transferred two weeks ago I kinda have to bother him with texts, haha)  Like always what he said was really supporting - but suddenly, while texting him back, completely out of the blue I was hit by this wall of warmth and love (sounds cheesy as heck, but yeah) and it was really strong and almost overwhelming. 

This weird little experience kind of gave me hope that even in my darkest days I’ll see light, and no matter how wrecked I’m feeling I’m not going back to where I once were because I now have something to keep me going. 

What a lovely sunday-post, eh? (: Just felt like sharing it

Guess who just found this picture of me, Linda and the beloved missionary couple who recently were done with their mission and went back to their home in Utah. Even though their “replacements” are doing an awesome job, I really miss them a lot, but they promised me and Linda to let us bother them for a week or two during our trip to the States in 2013, which made it a lot easier to say goodbye.  I hope they don’t change their minds about that though, but either way I’m going to come knocking on their door. Whether they like it or not lol

Just read an old short story I wrote for norwegian class or something back in October, and I think it’s funny how I still get the exact same feeling while reading it, a couple of months later, like I had when I sat in the class room that day, typing as if my life depended on it. It’s about missing someone, in this case “my” missionary who went home in July, and not knowing how to deal with it because every time you think you’re starting to get over it, Nostalgia comes out of the shadows and slaps you in the face. 

So yeah it was kind of sad to read. And honestly, I just miss him more and more every day, and I doubt that’ll ever change. 

BUT! I get to see him again soon, though, and I tend to bother him on facebook a lot so I know he’s doing okay, so …

seriously, he got transported on Wednesday and I’ve been sobbing since. He hugged me and kept repeating “I don’t wanna leave”, and I was like “SO DON’T !!!!!!!” … but he had to, of course.  

Seriously, if he doesn’t text me or anything I’m gonna have to call the church in the city he’s now serving in, and tell them to tell him that he’s not allowed to forget me. 

Seriously. I will. 

I just noticed that I’ve started three sentences with “seriously” … SERIOUSLY. I’m serious. 

At school today, this girl walked up to me like, “Malin, you’re mormon, right?” “yeah? Happy birthday, btw!” (it’s her birthday lol) “thanks! Do you mind if I use you for my project about mormons?” “not at all! (:” and when I walked into her at the library a couple of hours later she stopped me and asked if she could ask me a couple of quick questions ect. I’m not used to being the one getting asked questions, and I kind of suck at explaining so it won’t surprise me if her project ends up something like “and when America was invaded by aliens …”  but ey, I was late for class and in a rush! 

Yesterday the sisters called me and asked if I could help them teaching this girl who’s kind of interested in the church before institute. I told her “my story” about how I converted and stuff, what happened and why I decided to get baptized. 

Not only that, but AFTER institute (or after dinner, we ditched the class, eheh, yO wE sO bAdAsS br0) we chatted with “our” elder in the hallway for a while, about him having a dead giraffe in his house and stuff, when he said “Tomorrow, 4.30, YOU are gonna teach US about the Plan of Salvation! I’m so exited … Hahah! “ 

but hey, going on a mission actually looks fun! So who knows …. (; 

so guess what 

I’m gonna play missionary next week lololol

the elders asked us if we wanted to come with them and talk to randoms on the street and we were like yeah ofc .

I just hope they don’t forget because I’m pretty stoked haaah I’m gonna make them stop people I know 

I’ve always wanted to be “behind the scenes” anyway, makes me feel all VIP

and I thought my result was quite accurate. 

but then I saw this … 

… and I couldn’t help but laugh. Picture me as a missionary. “Hey …. Hey you!  … Excuse me … No but … WELL WHATEVER BITCH … hey … I represent this church and I have this book … Do you have … Hey …. Anyone? *snap* HEY, RANDOM WOMAN !!!! Does anyone have like five minutes? … Hey … No? … Okay *go cry in a corner* “