… but hopefully this will reach out to people who find themselves in a similar mental situation

Reasons to live: 

1. I know for sure that God put me on this planet for a reason, and that he has a plan for me. 
2. There is always a tomorrow. I just have to look for the light switch. 
3. I feel like I’ve been making too much progress to give it all up now
4. I have to set an example for my sister, and I want to see her succeed in life
5. Over the past couple of months I have learned that there are actually people out there who care
6. Funerals are very expensive, and I don’t want to be an economical burden for my family
7. It would be unfair to the people who are really suffering and would do anything to switch lives with me
8. I’m so lucky to have the best friends ever, and their support has been overwhelming, really
9. I want to see everyone I miss again. 

1. All this regardless, I still feel worthless, and I still feel like I’m bothering everyone
2. I’m still weak and I still want to harm myself, something I’m really ashamed of (but I haven’t, not in 4 months! :D) 
3. No matter what anyone says I will always feel like I’m not good enough. 
4. I doubt I’ll ever find someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with me because I’m too fat, ugly and weird. (note: I’m not writing this to make myself look like an attention whore, this is how I honestly view myself) 
5. I feel misunderstood. 
6. Most of the time I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, what’s really bothering me and why I’m sad, and I’m sick of that. It makes me feel claustrophobic, and I just want to get out. 

But, you know, let the bright side overcome the darkness! Even though I’m not 100% okay yet, I’m not where I used to be, and while writing this I realized once again that I have more reasons to live than I have to get carried away in a coffin.